Most Epic Story Ever! 13+only lol

Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...

Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.








I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??





So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pel... floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!



So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pel... floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.






I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:




I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....








At that point things get even worse...





The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the **** bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.










All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my ******* pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.




anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?

I think you should stick your head in a hole and never tell this story ever again.

I just don't understand how shitting in the shower sounded like a good idea? You're one weird kid Foxx.

WoW...

That's not FoX's story.

And the point of posting this was??

wow.!!!... are you serious foxx?... gotta be a joke... wheres the punch line?

i found this story on the internet...i would never be that guy! lol....the point of posting this was its an amazing story and it made my day haha


here's the punchline keith ...supposedly this story is true and happened to a guy who had social anxiety syndrome or somethin

so the correct way of posting something like this would be.... to say its a story not by yourself and to site the author if there is one

tuffmuff wrote:

so the correct way of posting something like this would be.... to say its a story not by yourself and to site the author if there is one

Idk the author...i found it on another website and someone posted it

all i was going to say was try takin a poo in a public restroom, when you gotta go, you gotta go.....

Thats some funny ish right there!

One word. DAMN

lol that's three

A friend of mine worked at a pizza place years back. His younger brother was at a fat camp one summer. I had pleaded with the older brother (my friend) to make a bunch of pizzas so I could deliver them to the fat camp under his younger bothers name.

You haven't lived until you've had a fat camp full of kids running at you for food. Looking back on it, it's kinda like dead nation when you toss a flare.

His brother got tossed from the fat camp. Not literally thou, cuz you know, he weighted a lot. We shared pizza on the way back home, it was good.

Thanks for reading mvmttttttt.

I know I write like a young lad, but, meh, you're good. I got hundreds of entertaining storiesssss.

Juzam666 wrote:

A friend of mine worked at a pizza place years back. His younger brother was at a fat camp one summer. I had pleaded with the older brother (my friend) to make a bunch of pizzas so I could deliver them to the fat camp under his younger bothers name.

You haven't lived until you've had a fat camp full of kids running at you for food. Looking back on it, it's kinda like dead nation when you toss a flare.

His brother got tossed from the fat camp. Not literally thou, cuz you know, he weighted a lot. We shared pizza on the way back home, it was good.

Thanks for reading mvmttttttt.

I know I write like a young lad, but, meh, you're good. I got hundreds of entertaining storiesssss.

You wrong for that..and keep em coming.

~Goodz~

lol..damn.

That stuff is no joke. When I was in school, I had to submit all of my papers with photocopies of the books that I used for quotes (with the sections highlighted...made for a lot of late nights in the library the night before the paper was due) and then send the paper off to a company that would search through it for any kind of copying by me. Fortunately, I never was accused since it would have held up my degree for a couple of years.

First off Archer...It wasn't 3 words blah blah. It was 3 sentences that I quoted but forgot to cite. I don't know if you weren't listening or I explained it wrong...I was drunk when I told you about it so it could be either one. I did lose my financial aid because my professor submitted it without asking me about it first, then contacted the family of the dead fuck who wrote it. After they filed the suit I was given a chance to explain and provided I can afford it (not likely) I can still go back next semester and it will not go on my record. OCCC has a website they upload the essays to and it searches the internet for plagiarism. Which is how they found it.

Second...I know you meant well and was trying to explain the consequences, but I do NOT appreciate you putting my business out there like that. My whole life just went in the fucking trash and on top of that I owe the government $10,000 that I can't pay back (garnish). As one of my best/ONLY friends I would hope you can understand why I've been drinking so much and haven't been around. I JUST LOST EVERYTHING!!! that I worked my ass off to get...you know that. I would really appreciate it if you took that post down.

Third...Just because I don't sign in or post on here doesn't mean I'm not watching the site.

Fourth...I posted this on here instead of calling you or messaging because I really don't care if the Mvmt knows my business. They have stuck by me more than once when I should have been kicked out the clan and I have been given more than one chance to redeem myself. I do think of you guys as family and love what we have here. The problem is...it's MY business to tell. NOT YOURS!

Jake, Calm down.

If you don't care if people know your business then why are you freaking out. He didn't mean it maliciously so no need to go all asshole on him. It makes zero sense to get mad at him for saying something personal about you and then for you to go on a 4 paragraph rant explaining more of it.

It's all good Jake. It happens...just keep your head up. Minor setback for a major comeback. You live and you learn...and that's pretty much what the college level is about....or that era in your life. Crazy part is...now...if I could go back and replay that section of my life back over...definitely would. But I dont regret anything I have now.

I'ma go ahead and shut this thread down so we can move on.

~Goodz~